The rain visits regularly nowadays. I couldn’t remember a day without the dark clouds hanging and the raindrops blurring my sight with their density. To be honest, I always fancy rain. The fresh air that it creates afterwards, with the essence of wet soil filling up my nostrils, always brings that awkward peace in my heart.
That afternoon, I walked my way home with drizzles patting my head and shoulders. The air was just the way I like it, fresh with mixture of wet soil in it. It was supposed to be a short walk, but the 10-minutes walk would then take me to revisit a quarter century behind me when I got to my room.
I looked up the dark sky above and saw the light drizzles made a fuzzy pattern as far as I could see. And then, London came to my mind. The reason that I easily associate London with such weather is because I’ve read books, seen movies, and heard stories about London’s weather that I picture will be like this. However, London is one of many places I’d like to visit one day. Its monarchy life has a magical way into luring me to keep on hoping that one day I’ll be there.
Ten minutes later, I got my keys out and unlocked the door to my room. It was dark.
After I changed to my warm and dry clothes, I sat by the side of my bed. The drizzles started to change into heavier rain. Now, all I could hear was the noise made by the heavy rain on the rooftops of my neighbors. It slowly swallowed any other sounds existed outside and my thought wandered back to my past life in accordance with the rhythms.
Approximately twenty minutes later, the sound on the rooftops slowly faded away and my thought got back to the present moment. From that journey I have been for a few minutes, one question was extracted. If I were given a change one major event or decision in my past life, what would that be?
To my surprise, I couldn’t give an answer to that.
I just froze for a moment.
The temperature in my room was quite low that I needed to keep myself a little bit warm so I move myself further to the middle of my bed and held my knees to my chin. And then I got back to my contemplation.
I know that there were many events in my past life that I would like to change. There were so many of them that I don’t know which one I should pick.
But then, I realized. If only I changed one decision I made in my past life, I am quite sure my whole life would change as well and I would not be who I am today, where I am today. And it might be both good and bad.
I might end up with a better job in a better company.
I might live somewhere else and have a totally different life.
I might be much happier than I am right now.
Yes, I might be many things.
But, it would also mean that I would miss all the joy, happiness and great experiences I already had if I didn’t change a thing in my past.
Life is full of surprises. Every turn you make will lead you to different places. You might not like what you see in 10-meter ahead, but you might love what you’ll have in another 100-meter.
Soon after that thought, I realized that the night was getting old. The rain that afternoon might be just for the night, but it had me to travel all the way to my past and wander to what my future will look like.